bobby_dreamer

Below are some notes, i have taken while listening to some Tedx videos. Initially i wasn't planning for this, i just listen to videos but after a while thought, these are good points, need to be noted down.

2020-08-30

Courage to trust yourself... listen to the nudges, Jo Simpson

1. What's important to you ?

   • Think about what's really important to you. It might be family, friends, team, adventure or making a difference.

2. What do you enjoy, really enjoy ? What drives you ?

   • This gives your energy..fun.

3. What really frustrates you?

   • Deceit, lie, bad behaviour...

Knowing all this can help you make decisions, bold decisions.

Danger of single story, Chimamanda Ngozi

How to create a single story ?
Show people one thing, as only one thing, over and over again and that is what they become. Eg: Mexicans and immigrants.

In Igbo language, nkali a noun means "to be greater than another". Politics and economic stores are defined by Principle of Nkali : How they are told ? Who tells them ? When they are told ? How many stories are told ? All these are really dependent on power. Power is just not about telling story of another person but to make it the definitive story of that person. Single story creates stereotypes. Problem with single story: it robs people of dignity. It makes recognition of our equal humanity difficult. It empazies how we are different rather than similar.

When we reject a single story, when we realize that there is never a single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise.

What one skill = an awesome life?, Dr. Shimi Kang

Adaptability. Anything that can adapt survives, its not survival of the fittest, it's just it adapted to that environment. That's how everything in nature. Basics of life thats how we adapt and thrive. So how to adapt comparing to dolphins they have high IQ and not on constant fear of getting eaten by sharks. Word is P.O.D,

• Play : Free play is good for our brain, it's trail and error and that how we adapt.
• Other, Why we adapt, meaningful social bonding brights up our brain.
• Downtime, when do we adapt, when we relax, sleep.

2020-08-26

The surprising secret to speaking with confidence, Caroline Goyder

1. Practice

   • To improve voice sing, practice

2. Diaphragm

   • When you are nervous, stay still amd breathe through diaphragm

3. Breathe

   • We breathe our thoughts and we speak in our breathe, so we should speak what we thoug ht inbreathe

Your mindset determines your tomorrow, Heinrich Popow

• If you can't change a situation don't try to understand it.
• They use my weakest to make themselves strong.

Become who you really are, Andrea Pennington

1. Learn who you are.
   Shift your focus inward. Question your thoughts or belief. This way you can see who you truly are. Look at your true personality traits which had come from family as some personality are transmitted via DNA also remeber biology doesn't limit you it's just a starting point. Look at your positive traits and talents. When we use more of our signature strengths in our daily life, we can achieve our authentic happiness, create more flow and feeling what we do in life matters. Positive emotions & Optimism go long way and denying self expression can lead to self depression. See how you are moulded, is it by you or allowed others to shape you which would be based on false information. A life review on other side will tell you, "how my choices shaped my present life". We should choose who we will be in this life time. Authentic happiness and total wellness are your birthright and you have a role to fullfill even if the role is small.

2. Love who you are.

3. Live who you really are.
   Uncover your dreams and passions and share them with the world, your ideas, your voice most importantly your presence. Be yourself cos original is worth more than a copy.

2020-07-27

How to multiply time ?, Rory vaden

Prioritising is all about, what matters most. 3D thinking,

• Urgency is about, "How soon does it matter ?"
• Importance is about, "How much does it matter"
• Significance is about, "How long does it matter ?".

Most important thing about significance is "You MULTIPLY your time by giving yourself the EMOTIONAL PERMISSION to spend time on things TODAY that will give you more time TOMORROW.". Remember anytime you say 'yes' to one thing, you say 'no' to n number of things. More time can be made by eliminating tasks, automating tasks or delegating tasks. Tasks are either done 'Now' or 'Later'. So this 3 things cycle.

2020-07-25

3 secrets of resilient people, Lucy Hone

Resilient person knows,

1. Terrible things happen, that's universal, but is it time to sink or swim.

2. They know to focus on things that they can change and accept on things you cannot change. Dont get swallowed up by threats/negatives and don't loose what you have with what you lost. Think of 3 good things that happen each day. Make I intentional, deliberate, ongoing effort to tune into good in your world.

3. Ask yourself, is what I am doing helpful or harming me ?

2020-07-20

Being Brilliant Every Single Day, Dr.Alan watkins

If you want to change what people do(behaviour), you have to change their thinking, if you want to change their thinking then you have to change how they feel.

2020-07-12

Change anything! Use skillpower over willpower, Al Switzler

• When you learn to analyse and adjust that's when you become resilient
• Difference between friends and accomplices, friends are who can help you, accomplices are friends who can help you, get into trouble. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.
• If we can control the sources that control us, we are more likely to control our behaviour.

While going through the comments, found user Daniel Lim who has summarized much more and a lot better.

Those who succeeded in changing a behavior have this thing called Agency: The capacity to control our own behavior.

You need to create your own plan. What works for others may not work for you. You need to understand what influence your behaviors.

First, identify your crucial moments: You are not tempted 24/7. Identify which time, place, and/or people makes you most tempted. Second, create your vital behaviors: What do you HAVE to do when you are at risk. (If you can refocus your behaviors, not succumb to the urge, for just 3 or 4 mins, then you can get back to wanting to do your own behaviors.) Third, in order to achieve this everytime, you need to engage all 6 sources of influences (or at least engage most of them).

The 6 sources of influences:

1. Personal Motivation - Do I want to? Am I motivated? (How much do I want to change and why? E.g. Sharman used a card to keep reminding herself when faced with food temptations.)
2. Personal Ability - Can I do it? If not, can I learn a skill to achieve it? (E.g. AJ knew her Dad was a stumbling block she had to overcome. She would succumb whenever he offered a cigarette to her. She learned how to talk to him about this issue.)
3. Social Motivation - Do I have encouragement and support? Someone who keeps me on track? (Identify friends from accomplices. If you can’t turn accomplices to friends, i.e. they are not serious in helping you, stay away from them!)
4. Social Ability - Do I have someone to coach me, give me feedback to improve?
5. Structural Motivation - Do I have any rewards or incentives to keep me going?
6. Structural Ability - Am I in an environment which helps to control my space? Is it possible to make my good behavior easy and my bad behavior hard? (E.g. Get rid of junk food in the house. Make healthy food easily available and junk food out of reach.)

Remember, it's not a willpower problem, it's a maths problem(1) and (2) derived from yourself. (3) and (4) derived from external help. For (5) and (6), you need to make plans in advance to create the environment.

Finally, the last step is to make bad days into good data. To prevent relapse, you have to plan for what happens if you ever failed to control your behavior. Understand what went wrong, analyse it, talk to someone about it, know what to do about it, etc.

"A plan is not a plan, until it specifies how you deal with setbacks."

2020-07-12

The secret to self control, Jonathan Bricker

Observe cravings and where they are coming from. Don't try to control it. Just stare at it(be conscious of it).