— notes — 11 min read
Below are some notes, i have taken while listening to some Tedx videos. Initially i wasn't planning for this, i just listen to videos but after a while thought, these are good points, need to be noted down.
Our nervous system is hardwired for comfort, our soul hardwired for growth.
People will never rise above the opinion of themselves
No one can never love us more than we love ourselves
We are creatures of habit. Prefrontal cortex that neocortex that frontal lobe serves all that decision making, if you keep taking decision like over and over again like day, you like fries, your brain thinks that's an intelligent decision and moves that decision making to midbrain and it becomes unconscious behavior or pattern or habit.
Our environment trumps will meaning our intention will always be beaten by environment over time.
People have bunch of beliefs which psychologist's label as Dysfunctional beliefs that actually holds them down,
Whats your passion ? Some people have one and some people have lots of things they are interested in, so this is not a organizing principle
You should know where your are going by now. If you don't know, you are late. It should be like, you are where you are and lets start from there.
Are you the best version of you ?
Remember unattainable best is the enemy of all the available betters.
Five design thinking ideas
Connecting dots increases meaning-making.
Ask yourself questions,
When you connect your work view and life view, you will start to experience life as meaningful.
If you have a gravity problem and if you are simply not willing to work on it then its just a circumstance in your life. Only thing you can do with gravity problem is accept.
Example - You(third person) cannot became a CEO of a family run business.
Gravity problem really get in the way.
Accept, think and work on all the design thinking bubbles.
Imagine multiverse exists, there are lots of you's, lets just take 3 versions of you. Now ideate(design thinking) 3 alternative future of yours.
Think about all the above you could do in your alternative futures. Make a list of things you can do in this life in multiverse.
In design thinking, after you have ideas(previous step - odyssey plans), you have to prototype. Ask below questions on your ideas to know this is exactly what you want.
There are so many people in the world and some are doing today exactly what you are interested in, you can have a conversation with them or read about them. In their, if something rings in you like "Narrative resonance". Sort of, you are hearing a story thats kinda your story, thats where something happens, you can identify that as a potential way of moving forward.
Making a good decision with all the choices. Process of choosing well.
On being lucky, pay attention on what you are doing, keeping you mind open and see if anythings odd here as thats where interesting opportunities show up without expecting.
When you have too many choices(choice overload), you have no choice. If you have too many choices, keep 5 and cross all the rest and among the 5 choose the best one.
You cannot choose well, if you are choosing from rational mind. -- Dan Goleman
Do remember, if make decisions that are reversible, your chances of being happy goes down by 60% or 70%.
You need to realize that, you are the driver and you are the mechainic of the most powerful engine of the whole world.
It almost doesn't matter what you know, Execution is what matters the most.
- Andy growe
Objectives and Key Results
OKR is simple goal setting system
Objectives : What you want accomplished
Key Results is about how you want it to be accomplished
What & How
But first you need to set Why. Because truly transformational teams combine their ambition to their passion to their purpose. This creates a sense of compelling why.
Good results are specific & time-bound Aggresive yet realistic, measurable amd verifiable.
100% commitment is easier than 98% commitment.
- Clayton Christensen, Harvard Business
Once you make a decision, you don't have to think a out it.
- Michael Jordan
A human has about 50k thoughts a day, say if you are thinking about something 40k times you are addicted. If you are trying to make a decision yes or no and valuating pros and cons after you had made decision, it basically means you haven't made decision. Making a decision means, not hitting that snooze button after deciding to wake at 5 in the morning. Once you make a decision, there should be no rethought, so when there is no rethought then there will be new thoughts could be on new things which didn't have time earlier.
Confidence is the by-product of prior performance.
Financial empowerment emotional literacy(FEEL). It teaches how to separate emotional discussions from financial decisions. 4 timeless rules for personal finance.
A professional is a person who knows his craft better than anybody else.
You have to put habits around the dreams so it becomes desire and ends up becoming destiny.
No path is ever truly tried until it's tried both ways. - edwin way teale
To know "what do I really want ?" Think about "Who do I want to be ?". Go into future, see yourself, come back write it down and start working on it.
Adaptability. Anything that can adapt, survives. Its not survival of the fittest, it's just it adapted to that environment. That's how everything in nature. Basics of life thats how we adapt and thrive. So how to adapt comparing to dolphins they have high IQ and not on constant fear of getting eaten by sharks. P.O.D,
What's important to you ?
What do you enjoy, really enjoy ? What drives you ?
What really frustrates you?
Knowing all this can help you make decisions, bold decisions.
How to create a single story ?
Show people one thing, as only one thing, over and over again and that is what they become. Eg: Mexicans and immigrants.
In Igbo language, nkali a noun means "to be greater than another". Politics and economic stores are defined by Principle of Nkali : How they are told ? Who tells them ? When they are told ? How many stories are told ? All these are really dependent on power. Power is just not about telling story of another person but to make it the definitive story of that person. Single story creates stereotypes. Problem with single story: it robs people of dignity. It makes recognition of our equal humanity difficult. It empazies how we are different rather than similar.
When we reject a single story, when we realize that there is never a single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise.
Adaptability. Anything that can adapt survives, its not survival of the fittest, it's just it adapted to that environment. That's how everything in nature. Basics of life thats how we adapt and thrive. So how to adapt comparing to dolphins they have high IQ and not on constant fear of getting eaten by sharks. Word is P.O.D,
Learn who you are.
Shift your focus inward. Question your thoughts or belief. This way you can see who you truly are. Look at your true personality traits which had come from family as some personality are transmitted via DNA also remeber biology doesn't limit you it's just a starting point. Look at your positive traits and talents. When we use more of our signature strengths in our daily life, we can achieve our authentic happiness, create more flow and feeling what we do in life matters. Positive emotions & Optimism go long way and denying self expression can lead to self depression. See how you are moulded, is it by you or allowed others to shape you which would be based on false information. A life review on other side will tell you, "how my choices shaped my present life". We should choose who we will be in this life time. Authentic happiness and total wellness are your birthright and you have a role to fullfill even if the role is small.
Love who you are.
Live who you really are.
Uncover your dreams and passions and share them with the world, your ideas, your voice most importantly your presence. Be yourself cos original is worth more than a copy.
Prioritising is all about, what matters most. 3D thinking,
Most important thing about significance is "You MULTIPLY your time by giving yourself the EMOTIONAL PERMISSION to spend time on things TODAY that will give you more time TOMORROW.". Remember anytime you say 'yes' to one thing, you say 'no' to n number of things. More time can be made by eliminating tasks, automating tasks or delegating tasks. Tasks are either done 'Now' or 'Later'. So this 3 things cycle.
Resilient person knows,
Terrible things happen, that's universal, but is it time to sink or swim.
They know to focus on things that they can change and accept on things you cannot change. Dont get swallowed up by threats/negatives and don't loose what you have with what you lost. Think of 3 good things that happen each day. Make I intentional, deliberate, ongoing effort to tune into good in your world.
Ask yourself, is what I am doing helpful or harming me ?
If you want to change what people do(behaviour), you have to change their thinking, if you want to change their thinking then you have to change how they feel.
While going through the comments, found user Daniel Lim who has summarized much more and a lot better.
Those who succeeded in changing a behavior have this thing called Agency: The capacity to control our own behavior.
You need to create your own plan. What works for others may not work for you. You need to understand what influence your behaviors.
First, identify your crucial moments: You are not tempted 24/7. Identify which time, place, and/or people makes you most tempted. Second, create your vital behaviors: What do you HAVE to do when you are at risk. (If you can refocus your behaviors, not succumb to the urge, for just 3 or 4 mins, then you can get back to wanting to do your own behaviors.) Third, in order to achieve this everytime, you need to engage all 6 sources of influences (or at least engage most of them).
The 6 sources of influences:
Remember, it's not a willpower problem, it's a maths problem(1) and (2) derived from yourself. (3) and (4) derived from external help. For (5) and (6), you need to make plans in advance to create the environment.
Finally, the last step is to make bad days into good data. To prevent relapse, you have to plan for what happens if you ever failed to control your behavior. Understand what went wrong, analyse it, talk to someone about it, know what to do about it, etc.
"A plan is not a plan, until it specifies how you deal with setbacks."
Observe cravings and where they are coming from. Don't try to control it. Just stare at it(be conscious of it).