bobby_dreamer

Below are some notes, i have taken while listening to some Tedx videos. Initially i wasn't planning for this, i just listen to videos but after a while thought, these are good points, need to be noted down.

2021-03-17

5 steps to designing the life you want, Bill Burnett

People have bunch of beliefs which psychologist's label as Dysfunctional beliefs that actually holds them down,

1. Whats your passion ? Some people have one and some people have lots of things they are interested in, so this is not a organizing principle

2. You should know where your are going by now. If you don't know, you are late. It should be like, you are where you are and lets start from there.

3. Are you the best version of you ?

   Remember unattainable best is the enemy of all the available betters.

Five design thinking ideas

1. Connect the Dots - Work & Lifeview
   People want their life to be meaningful, purposeful and want to add up to something.

Connecting dots increases meaning-making.

Ask yourself questions,

• Whats your theory of work, why do you work, what's it for, what's in service of
• What's the meaning of life, whats the big picture, why are you here, what's your faith or view of the world

When you connect your work view and life view, you will start to experience life as meaningful.

2. Gravity Problems
   You see..."I've got this problem. It's called GRAVITY. If it's not actionable, it's not a problem, it's a CIRCUMSTANCE."

If you have a gravity problem and if you are simply not willing to work on it then its just a circumstance in your life. Only thing you can do with gravity problem is accept.

Example - You(third person) cannot became a CEO of a family run business.

Gravity problem really get in the way.

Accept, think and work on all the design thinking bubbles.

3. 3 Five-Year Odyssey Plans

Imagine multiverse exists, there are lots of you's, lets just take 3 versions of you. Now ideate(design thinking) 3 alternative future of yours.

• Whatever you are doing, do it for 5-years, its gonna come out as great. Add some bucket list things(travels...
• If your works automated, What do you do thing you got goes away ? Think of side hussles here.
• What's your wildcard plan. What would you do if you know no one woould laugh or judge? What would do, if you had enough money and you didn't care what people thought? Think of anything from gardening for life to bartending

Think about all the above you could do in your alternative futures. Make a list of things you can do in this life in multiverse.

4. Prototyping Your Life

In design thinking, after you have ideas(previous step - odyssey plans), you have to prototype. Ask below questions on your ideas to know this is exactly what you want.

PROTOTYPE TO,

• Ask interesting questions.
• Expose assumptions.
• Involve others with your ideas.
• Sneak up on the future.

There are so many people in the world and some are doing today exactly what you are interested in, you can have a conversation with them or read about them. In their, if something rings in you like "Narrative resonance". Sort of, you are hearing a story thats kinda your story, thats where something happens, you can identify that as a potential way of moving forward.

5. Choosing Well

Making a good decision with all the choices. Process of choosing well.

• Gather and create
• narrow down
• choose
• agonize(as you did wrong thing and theres FOMO-Fear of Missing Out) instead you should "let go and move on"

On being lucky, pay attention on what you are doing, keeping you mind open and see if anythings odd here as thats where interesting opportunities show up without expecting.

When you have too many choices(choice overload), you have no choice. If you have too many choices, keep 5 and cross all the rest and among the 5 choose the best one.

You cannot choose well, if you are choosing from rational mind. -- Dan Goleman

Do remember, if make decisions that are reversible, your chances of being happy goes down by 60% or 70%.

2021-02-19

Flex your cortex -- 7 secrets to turbocharge your brain, Sandra Bond Chapman, Ph.D.

1. Single Task - Concentrate on one task at a time.
2. Inhibit Information - Highest performing individuals are not the ones who remember the most, but those who knows what to block out, inhibit and what to bounce and focus on few things they are doing.
3. Detox distractions - Keep away from technology or anything else when doing work.
4. Big Idea Thinking - Take an idea from disparate areas and combine with rich knowledge you already have and form some generalized higher level of thinking.
5. Calibrate mental effort - Order tasks in order of importance. Dont waste time on insignificant tasks. When you are hunting elephants, don't waste your time chasing rabbits. Do your rabbits quickly but take time to do your elephants. Elephants need to be done, when your brain is in prime time(in everyday sense first two hours of the day for most people).
6. Innovation - User your creativity. Innovate every aspect of your life(even a simple hi, how are you)
7. Motivation - Motivation >(always trumps) Talent. Try to make tasks more interesting/innovative. If you put some brain in the game, they will get motivated. Innovation fuels motivation.

You need to realize that, you are the driver and you are the mechainic of the most powerful engine of the whole world.

2020-10-24

Why the secret of success is setting the right goals, John Doerr

It almost doesn't matter what you know, Execution is what matters the most.

• Andy growe

• Objectives and Key Results

  • Objective is the direction
  • Key results have to be measured

• OKR is simple goal setting system

• Objectives : What you want accomplished

• Key Results is about how you want it to be accomplished

What & How

But first you need to set Why. Because truly transformational teams combine their ambition to their passion to their purpose. This creates a sense of compelling why.

Good results are specific & time-bound Aggresive yet realistic, measurable amd verifiable.

2020-10-19

The 100 Percent Rule That Will Change Your Life, Benjamin Hardy, TEDxKlagenfurt

• How you see yourself is how you act

100% commitment is easier than 98% commitment.

• Clayton Christensen, Harvard Business

• Input shapes your outlook and outlook shapes your behaviour.
• Point of no return experience for most entrepreneurs is making financial investment in the goal. ( Bought truck loads of shoes, noway to return them, so only option was to sell that led to becoming a business man).
• How you do anything is how you do everything.
• Once you make a decision you don't have to play the mental tug of war.

Once you make a decision, you don't have to think a out it.

• Michael Jordan

• A human has about 50k thoughts a day, say if you are thinking about something 40k times you are addicted. If you are trying to make a decision yes or no and valuating pros and cons after you had made decision, it basically means you haven't made decision. Making a decision means, not hitting that snooze button after deciding to wake at 5 in the morning. Once you make a decision, there should be no rethought, so when there is no rethought then there will be new thoughts could be on new things which didn't have time earlier.

• Confidence is the by-product of prior performance.

2020-09-27

How I Learned to read and trade sticks in prison, Curtis caroll

Financial empowerment emotional literacy(FEEL). It teaches how to separate emotional discussions from financial decisions. 4 timeless rules for personal finance.

1. Proper way to save.
2. Control your cost of living
3. Borrow money effectively
4. Diversify your finances by allowing money to work for you.

A professional is a person who knows his craft better than anybody else.

What do I really want ?, Nicole Greer

You have to put habits around the dreams so it becomes desire and ends up becoming destiny.

No path is ever truly tried until it's tried both ways. - edwin way teale

To know "what do I really want ?" Think about "Who do I want to be ?". Go into future, see yourself, come back write it down and start working on it.

2020-08-30

What one skill = an awesome life ? Dr.Shimi Kang

Adaptability. Anything that can adapt, survives. Its not survival of the fittest, it's just it adapted to that environment. That's how everything in nature. Basics of life thats how we adapt and thrive. So how to adapt comparing to dolphins they have high IQ and not on constant fear of getting eaten by sharks. P.O.D,

• Play : Free play is good for our brain, it's trail and error and that how we adapt.
• Other, Why we adapt, meaningful social bonding brights up our brain.
• Downtime, when do we adapt, when we relax, sleep.

Courage to trust yourself... listen to the nudges, Jo Simpson

1. What's important to you ?

   • Think about what's really important to you. It might be family, friends, team, adventure or making a difference.

2. What do you enjoy, really enjoy ? What drives you ?

   • This gives your energy..fun.

3. What really frustrates you?

   • Deceit, lie, bad behaviour...

Knowing all this can help you make decisions, bold decisions.

Danger of single story, Chimamanda Ngozi

How to create a single story ?
Show people one thing, as only one thing, over and over again and that is what they become. Eg: Mexicans and immigrants.

In Igbo language, nkali a noun means "to be greater than another". Politics and economic stores are defined by Principle of Nkali : How they are told ? Who tells them ? When they are told ? How many stories are told ? All these are really dependent on power. Power is just not about telling story of another person but to make it the definitive story of that person. Single story creates stereotypes. Problem with single story: it robs people of dignity. It makes recognition of our equal humanity difficult. It empazies how we are different rather than similar.

When we reject a single story, when we realize that there is never a single story about any place, we regain a kind of paradise.

What one skill = an awesome life?, Dr. Shimi Kang

Adaptability. Anything that can adapt survives, its not survival of the fittest, it's just it adapted to that environment. That's how everything in nature. Basics of life thats how we adapt and thrive. So how to adapt comparing to dolphins they have high IQ and not on constant fear of getting eaten by sharks. Word is P.O.D,

• Play : Free play is good for our brain, it's trail and error and that how we adapt.
• Other, Why we adapt, meaningful social bonding brights up our brain.
• Downtime, when do we adapt, when we relax, sleep.

2020-08-26

The surprising secret to speaking with confidence, Caroline Goyder

1. Practice

   • To improve voice sing, practice

2. Diaphragm

   • When you are nervous, stay still amd breathe through diaphragm

3. Breathe

   • We breathe our thoughts and we speak in our breathe, so we should speak what we thoug ht inbreathe

Your mindset determines your tomorrow, Heinrich Popow

• If you can't change a situation don't try to understand it.
• They use my weakest to make themselves strong.

Become who you really are, Andrea Pennington

1. Learn who you are.
   Shift your focus inward. Question your thoughts or belief. This way you can see who you truly are. Look at your true personality traits which had come from family as some personality are transmitted via DNA also remeber biology doesn't limit you it's just a starting point. Look at your positive traits and talents. When we use more of our signature strengths in our daily life, we can achieve our authentic happiness, create more flow and feeling what we do in life matters. Positive emotions & Optimism go long way and denying self expression can lead to self depression. See how you are moulded, is it by you or allowed others to shape you which would be based on false information. A life review on other side will tell you, "how my choices shaped my present life". We should choose who we will be in this life time. Authentic happiness and total wellness are your birthright and you have a role to fullfill even if the role is small.

2. Love who you are.

3. Live who you really are.
   Uncover your dreams and passions and share them with the world, your ideas, your voice most importantly your presence. Be yourself cos original is worth more than a copy.

2020-07-27

How to multiply time ?, Rory vaden

Prioritising is all about, what matters most. 3D thinking,

• Urgency is about, "How soon does it matter ?"
• Importance is about, "How much does it matter"
• Significance is about, "How long does it matter ?".

Most important thing about significance is "You MULTIPLY your time by giving yourself the EMOTIONAL PERMISSION to spend time on things TODAY that will give you more time TOMORROW.". Remember anytime you say 'yes' to one thing, you say 'no' to n number of things. More time can be made by eliminating tasks, automating tasks or delegating tasks. Tasks are either done 'Now' or 'Later'. So this 3 things cycle.

2020-07-25

3 secrets of resilient people, Lucy Hone

Resilient person knows,

1. Terrible things happen, that's universal, but is it time to sink or swim.

2. They know to focus on things that they can change and accept on things you cannot change. Dont get swallowed up by threats/negatives and don't loose what you have with what you lost. Think of 3 good things that happen each day. Make I intentional, deliberate, ongoing effort to tune into good in your world.

3. Ask yourself, is what I am doing helpful or harming me ?

2020-07-20

Being Brilliant Every Single Day, Dr.Alan watkins

If you want to change what people do(behaviour), you have to change their thinking, if you want to change their thinking then you have to change how they feel.

2020-07-12

Change anything! Use skillpower over willpower, Al Switzler

• When you learn to analyse and adjust that's when you become resilient
• Difference between friends and accomplices, friends are who can help you, accomplices are friends who can help you, get into trouble. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.
• If we can control the sources that control us, we are more likely to control our behaviour.

While going through the comments, found user Daniel Lim who has summarized much more and a lot better.

Those who succeeded in changing a behavior have this thing called Agency: The capacity to control our own behavior.

You need to create your own plan. What works for others may not work for you. You need to understand what influence your behaviors.

First, identify your crucial moments: You are not tempted 24/7. Identify which time, place, and/or people makes you most tempted. Second, create your vital behaviors: What do you HAVE to do when you are at risk. (If you can refocus your behaviors, not succumb to the urge, for just 3 or 4 mins, then you can get back to wanting to do your own behaviors.) Third, in order to achieve this everytime, you need to engage all 6 sources of influences (or at least engage most of them).

The 6 sources of influences:

1. Personal Motivation - Do I want to? Am I motivated? (How much do I want to change and why? E.g. Sharman used a card to keep reminding herself when faced with food temptations.)
2. Personal Ability - Can I do it? If not, can I learn a skill to achieve it? (E.g. AJ knew her Dad was a stumbling block she had to overcome. She would succumb whenever he offered a cigarette to her. She learned how to talk to him about this issue.)
3. Social Motivation - Do I have encouragement and support? Someone who keeps me on track? (Identify friends from accomplices. If you can’t turn accomplices to friends, i.e. they are not serious in helping you, stay away from them!)
4. Social Ability - Do I have someone to coach me, give me feedback to improve?
5. Structural Motivation - Do I have any rewards or incentives to keep me going?
6. Structural Ability - Am I in an environment which helps to control my space? Is it possible to make my good behavior easy and my bad behavior hard? (E.g. Get rid of junk food in the house. Make healthy food easily available and junk food out of reach.)

Remember, it's not a willpower problem, it's a maths problem(1) and (2) derived from yourself. (3) and (4) derived from external help. For (5) and (6), you need to make plans in advance to create the environment.

Finally, the last step is to make bad days into good data. To prevent relapse, you have to plan for what happens if you ever failed to control your behavior. Understand what went wrong, analyse it, talk to someone about it, know what to do about it, etc.

"A plan is not a plan, until it specifies how you deal with setbacks."

2020-07-12

The secret to self control, Jonathan Bricker

Observe cravings and where they are coming from. Don't try to control it. Just stare at it(be conscious of it).